My style business name, Jenny B, didn’t come from nowhere:
- The B is the first letter of my surname. Using it means that I won’t confuse people!
- My contact name at my previous employment was Jenny Be. And, as being, is the only way to be a successful human being I rather took to this.
- I like and admire bees. They are an inspiration about what can be achieved if we want to be who we are. Aerodynamically they should not be able to fly – but they do!
Last week I was invited to speak at the annual Barnardo’s lunch at Horton Grange. Great fun and very invigorating.
This week I was asked to do an evening workshop in Brancepeth to raise money for Dorothy’s Well Project, Tanzania. Another fun and invigorating occasion.
Put a great number of women in one place and provide them with a wonderfully relaxing venue, the opportunity to eat, drink, chat and share magnanimously and you have a winning formula.
Of course, a committee determined to make the occasion a success is also needed. The success of both, as far as I could see, was not only the energy and commitment of the committee but, most importantly, its members taking the opportunity to learn from each event organised and to tweak what follows accordingly – the opportunity to improve and move with the times; to move incrementally towards perfection knowing that perfection will never be achieved but delighting in this fact rather than being defeated by it.
And this is exactly how great and successful personal style is achieved.
Perfection will never be reached. I have never met the perfect person either in dress, deeds or demeanour. I do not believe that the perfect person even exists. However, I have met people who exist perfectly.
How do they do this?
They are positive thinkers and they present themselves positively.
They enjoy challenge. They are interested in themselves and in others. They have a curiosity about life and their role in it. They enjoy the space that they use in life. They enjoy being who they are and they communicate that enjoyment to those they meet.
The majority of clients who come to work with me are quite sure that they are into a hide to nothing; that whatever they do to try to improve how they look and how they feel will not work.
Some have tried before.
Some have decided there is no point in trying.
Some would like to try but are not sure that it is worth it. After all they have got by thus far so why look for change when they might fail?
All are looking in the wrong direction. They are looking down rather than up. And because they are looking down rather than up, they feel down rather than up.
Bees shouldn’t be able to fly. Has no one told them or did they choose not to hear?
The scientifically observed flaws and faults that should prevent them from flying just don’t.
The facts are that bees can fly with the features that they have been given.
Bees know what they want to do – they want to buzz, and busily trip from one flower to another and gather pollen and make honey – and be!
No negative thinking here.
Being at one with your inner and outer self is easy – just find out what the facts are. Decide on the features that you have and choose those to use and those to lose.
You won’t necessarily feel good if you look good – but it is far more likely!
What you will do is make it very easy for others to know who you are.
Within 3 seconds those you meet are going to make many a decision about you … whether you look like the sort of person they would like to spend time with, whom they can trust, who will be good at what they do, what sort of education they have had, what sort of lifestyle they have … so to create a personal style that speaks of the person you really are is a must if you want to communicate effectively.
I am ashamed to tell you this BUT …. I spent years convinced that I did not like a person I met at a work conference. She looked dull, cross and opinionated and a bit scary. Five years later I found out that she was interesting, warm and a diverse thinker. I like her very much and rue the five years wasted. Was it my fault for jumping to the wrong conclusions or her fault for giving me the wrong signals?
Does “fault” come into this? Probably not.
The facts are that she presented a negative image of herself and I didn’t wait around long enough to find out how mis-guided these signals were.
I will leave you with the secret that I shared with the lunch and evening guests.
Last year had a multiple set of challenges that gathered together as my own annus horribilis as well as an annus mirabilis with the birth of Andres – first Bersin grandchild.
As you can imagine, housework was not high on the list. Actually it rarely reached the list at all. I found that taking my glasses off really helped here as did candlelight when friends came for the evening.
A month ago I decided that housekeeping needed a gentle re-assertion – a light dusting down. Not doing badly until I came to a Malin jug with a dehydrated bat in its bottom! An analogy for life & style?
If you don’t keep yourself dusted down you may find a dehydrated and wizened bat, old and inconsequential before its time, staring at you from the bottom of the jug – or your mirror!
If you don’t know how –find out. If I had kept dusting that lovely little bat could still be alive and flying and being!